Whether it’s at work, in our social life, with our kids or our better half, we all need to negotiate our way through life. So we stand to benefit if we learn how to do it skillfully. How To Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie, will show you that understanding the principles of human relations is at the heart of what you need to master to increase your power of influence.
Our work environment of course is one area of our lives which is rich with opportunities to influence people. Whether it’s as an employee or a manager, everybody will gain by improving their capacity to get people to say yes. Bring people to collaborate with conviction.
AT WORK, HOW OFTEN DO WE NEED TO …
- convince our boss that we have the right solution
- get help from a colleague or another team in the company
- have an employee accomplish a task he or she is not crazy about
- inform someone of an error they made
- negotiate a contract with a counter party
- sell products to clients
- resolve a problematic situation with a client
- get the team to adhere to a new business plan
- and so on…
Learning how to influence people can only enhance our chances for success.
HERE ARE JUST A FEW OF MY TAKEAWAYS …(The book covers about 30 different concepts).
Put your ego aside
In order to put into practice what the book preaches, you need to be able to put aside your ego. So that you can focus on seeing things from the other person’s point of view. We naturally tend to want to show that we are superior and that we know better. But we’re not building a relationship of trust when we behave this way.
“The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.”
Another concept suggests we talk about our own mistakes before we criticize another person. Admitting to not being perfect ourselves, will make it far less difficult for the other person to hear about his or her faults. Makes a lot of sense when you think about it.
Be sincere, genuine
When praising people on their accomplishments for example, be specific as to why their work was superior.
“The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely.”
Use the “Yes” technique
This technique refers to the psychological pattern whereby the person saying yes is automatically put in a forward-moving and accepting attitude. This is often used by skillful speakers who will get their audience to say “yes” to a number of questions at the outset.
“Get a student to say “No” at the beginning, or a customer, child, husband, or wife, and it takes the wisdom and the patience of angels to transform that bristling negative into an affirmative.”
There are a ton of concrete examples in this book which will make it easy to relate and adapt to your own reality. In my view, How To Win Friends & Influence People is a great tool to help people increase their successes. And not only that, it can become a handy book of reference for any home or office–human relations being at the core of it.
If everybody mastered this book’s concepts, everybody’s lives would be improved.